How I got past getting laid off: a stand-up comedian's mindset

One Friday last December, I joined a weekly 1:1 with my manager that changed my life. After some small talk, he delivered news – my role was being eliminated. 

I was blindsided. After the call, I stepped into my living room and uttered the words to my wife that I had hoped never to say out loud: “I just got laid off.” 

My manager made clear that my being laid off was unrelated to my performance, but I was still stunned.  I shouldn’t have been. I was one of over 200,000 tech workers laid off in 2023.

Being laid off was one of the least funny things that has ever happened to me. Yet when I reflect on how I got through it (and landed a great new role), the best advice I can offer is to think like a stand-up comedian.

To be clear, I have never attempted stand-up comedy. My daughters will argue that I'm not even funny (#dadjokes). But I am a big fan of stand-up comedy. So much so that I am drawn to a subgenre about the craft that goes into great stand-up comedy. This subgenre includes books, like Steve Martin’s Born Standing Up, and shows, like Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, which offer insights into how the best stand-ups hone their skills.   

Stand-ups are among the very best storytellers of our time. And storytelling was central to how I got through being laid off. It began with one important story. 

Story beats fear

Before they step on stage, nearly every stand-up faces the fear of failure. To overcome that fear, they tell themselves a story that they have what it takes to succeed.

Similarly, I faced my own fear of failure. Overcoming that fear required telling myself the right story. 

There were many times I told myself the wrong story. That being laid off was all my fault. Or that it was entirely my boss’s fault or our CEO’s fault. 

The right story started with the fact that being laid off was outside of my control. The right story was about how I’ve made a lasting impact over and over again on the individuals, teams and partnerships I’ve led. 

Next, I had to transform the story in my head into one that could connect with recruiters and interviewers. Like a stand-up, my story had to be relatable and connect with them emotionally. The only way to do that was to test out my material infront of audiences. 

Polishing my act

The best stand-ups can deliver a killer prepared monologue and also improvise in real-time with the audience. A good job interview requires both of these skills.

Since every interview begins with a brief monologue, like a stand-up, I spent hours polishing my introduction. I boiled down years of leading partnerships and teams into a punchy bit I could deliver succinctly. I also assembled a set of mini-stories that I could adapt in real-time to answer nearly any interview question. 

I tested these stories out during dozens of coffee chats and job screening calls. I kept the best bits and tossed out those that did not land. Eventually, I knew my routine was ready for primetime. 

Progress through rejection

Even great stand-ups bomb some nights. 

I certainly bombed some interviews. 

But, as Chris Rock once remarked, “failure, if you don't let it defeat you, is what fuels your future success.” 

There is a risk that comes with exploring new opportunities – the risk of rejection. I explored many new roles and I faced numerous rejections. But I didn’t let those rejections defeat me. I viewed each rejection as a chance to learn. Like a stand-up’s notebook of jokes, I kept a spreadsheet with detailed notes from interviews, including which questions I did not have a good story to respond with. 

Rejections helped me to refine my story and spot which opportunities were the best fit for me.

Relationships first 

Imagine standing on stage alone in a dark room trying to delight strangers. That is the job of a stand-up comedian. That is also a good description of how it often feels to be in the midst of a job search. It feels lonely. But I was not alone. 

Similar to the way many stand-ups form tight-knit communities with each other, I benefited from a network of incredible people. 

I am so grateful to the friends, family and colleagues who made valuable introductions, agreed to conduct mock interviews and encouraged me along the way. My skills and experiences carried me far but my relationships made all the difference. 

A stand-up’s mindset 

I had once believed that my hard work and the results I delivered would protect me at work like a shield. I was wrong. But a stand-up’s mindset helped me find the way forward and it may help you, whether you have been laid off or are just trying to figure out what’s next in your career:

• The most important story is the one you tell yourself. 

• The only way to sharpen your story is to share it with audiences and listen carefully to their feedback. 

• Comfort is the enemy of growth - exploring new opportunities carries the risk of rejection. 

• Rejection is a step on the path to success. 

• Invest in your relationships - at home, at work and in your community. They will make all the difference. 

Thanks again to each person who has been there for me.